By Shei Franco
Making It Stop
The big question is how to handle bullies. Parents worry that stepping in may deprive their children of opportunities to work things out on their own, but staying out may cause their child more pain.
“There are many solutions to this problem which can actually strengthen and empower children without contributing to further abuse,” says Kate Cohen-Posey, author of How to Handle Bullies, Teasers, and Other Meanies (Rainbow Books, 1995). “It is an opportunity for parents to help children think out the many choices they have.”
For many parents, the first response is to reprimand the bully. Others confront the offender's parents. Still others head straight for the principal's office. All of these are correct approaches, just not necessarily in that order.
The First Step Seems Obvious
“You talk to your child to see what he or she wants to do about the bullying situation,” says Brien O'Callaghan, a clinical psychologist and marriage and family counselor, in Bethel, Conn. “Your child may have already handled it or, in response to what I call ‘parenting by questions,’ he or she may come up with his [or her] own ideas.”
When a child does ask to handle the situation on his or her own, O'Callaghan says it is important to give that space. He suggests telling the child, “I'll give you time to figure this out if you choose, but if it happens again, I'm going to get involved."”
If a parent does get involved, O'Callaghan suggests the next step be contacting the school and applying pressure until an adequate solution is in place.
“The school may have to bring in an expert on bullying and school safety and may have to be pressured to do so,” he says. In the unfortunate event that help from the school does not rectify the situation, the third step would be a non–blaming conversation with the aggressor's parents. If all else fails, O'Callaghan suggests reporting the incident to the police.
In the end, parents should keep in mind that professional intervention may not always be the best answer.
“The bully will have little interest in listening to a lecture from a professional,” O'Callaghan says. “The victim primarily needs the bullying to stop. Neither child needs a professional therapist. They need a professional bully–stopper.”
How does a parent become a
“professional bully–stopper?”
O'Callaghan offers these tips:
•Pay close attention to the interactions of children in your care.
•Develop a close relationship with all children in your care so that they will be honest with you.
•Ask direct questions of children regarding their experience of safety in all settings.
•Intervene forcefully in incidents of child–child conflict either observed or reported. This intervention involves a brief or extended investigation, an adult judgment of guilt or innocence and an assignment of punishment to the offender.
•Most important, every incident of bullying should be mediated principally through the parents of the children involved, not other authorities like teachers, social service agencies, therapists or police. The parents are those most responsible for the child's behavior and it is of primary importance that they accept responsibility for their children and be capable of parenting with a balanced measure of both love and discipline.
•As an additional alternative, look for a program to empower your children to stand up for themselves and present an attitude of confidence when confronted. A professional martial arts or specialized self–defense/bully proof program can be just the answer to “stopping the bullies!”
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
1 Week FREE Unlimted Trial Membership
Contact: Sensei Orcutt at george.orcutt@gmail.com
Watch for NEW Programs this NEW YEAR!
NEW Fitness Program and NEW Kids MMA/Grappling
Watch for NEW Programs this NEW YEAR!
NEW Fitness Program and NEW Kids MMA/Grappling
How to Discourage Bullies Part One
Put an End to School Yard Bullies –
Part ONE
By Shei Franco
Reading, writing, arithmetic, name calling, teasing and pushing. They all have something in common.
You might be surprised to know they all are taught in school. Perhaps only three are actually part of the curriculum, but the rest are just as prevalent. Even if a child is not the victim of harassment, chances are he has witnessed students under attack.
For some parents, the topic of bullying seems irrelevant. After all, the sweetly dressed 5–year-old at the bus stop can't possibly be a threat. But, according to Lori Linden, an elementary school guidance counselor in Millcreek, Pa., bullying can start at any age. “As early as kindergarten, [there is] pushing in line and making demands to other children,” Linden says.
How Bullying Starts
Teachers and parents need to identify children who bully. Classroom and household sanity depends on it. While most parents concentrate on whether their child is being bullied, they should not ignore the possibility that the bully might belong to them.
“The bully usually exhibits disrespectful behavior, in general, to peers, teachers and others,” says Brien O'Callaghan, a clinical psychologist and marriage and family counselor, in Bethel, Conn. “The disrespect may be obvious or subtle. There is usually an arrogant, know–it–all, sarcastic attitude. There are also usually other signs like academic underachievement, other misbehaviors like stealing and a pattern of making excuses for misbehavior and blaming others.”
While these signs indicate an underlying character issue, O'Callaghan adds that nothing is certain. “It is important to note that it is also possible that the bully will keep a low profile and not be easily identified,” he says.
How to Tell
Most parents do not witness their child being bullied. They believe, in good faith, that a teacher or adult that cares for their child will notify them of any harassment. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen.
How, then, can parents know when their child is being bullied? O'Callaghan warns that uncovering the victim is not always easy. He points out the child may feel embarrassed, threatened or may simply believe that her claims will fall on deaf ears.
Part ONE
By Shei Franco
Reading, writing, arithmetic, name calling, teasing and pushing. They all have something in common.
You might be surprised to know they all are taught in school. Perhaps only three are actually part of the curriculum, but the rest are just as prevalent. Even if a child is not the victim of harassment, chances are he has witnessed students under attack.
For some parents, the topic of bullying seems irrelevant. After all, the sweetly dressed 5–year-old at the bus stop can't possibly be a threat. But, according to Lori Linden, an elementary school guidance counselor in Millcreek, Pa., bullying can start at any age. “As early as kindergarten, [there is] pushing in line and making demands to other children,” Linden says.
How Bullying Starts
Teachers and parents need to identify children who bully. Classroom and household sanity depends on it. While most parents concentrate on whether their child is being bullied, they should not ignore the possibility that the bully might belong to them.
“The bully usually exhibits disrespectful behavior, in general, to peers, teachers and others,” says Brien O'Callaghan, a clinical psychologist and marriage and family counselor, in Bethel, Conn. “The disrespect may be obvious or subtle. There is usually an arrogant, know–it–all, sarcastic attitude. There are also usually other signs like academic underachievement, other misbehaviors like stealing and a pattern of making excuses for misbehavior and blaming others.”
While these signs indicate an underlying character issue, O'Callaghan adds that nothing is certain. “It is important to note that it is also possible that the bully will keep a low profile and not be easily identified,” he says.
How to Tell
Most parents do not witness their child being bullied. They believe, in good faith, that a teacher or adult that cares for their child will notify them of any harassment. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen.
How, then, can parents know when their child is being bullied? O'Callaghan warns that uncovering the victim is not always easy. He points out the child may feel embarrassed, threatened or may simply believe that her claims will fall on deaf ears.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Zach Anderson Gets a Silver Medal
Zach Anderson a local martial arts instructor at “The Lion Pit- Mixed Martial Arts school, participated in a submissions Jiu-Jutsu tournament put on by “Fightforce” in Helena, Montana, December 5, 2009. Zach a 15 year old that weighed in at 200 pounds was supposed to participate in the teen section of the tournament but there weren’t enough participates in his age group to make it a good contest, so Fightforce recommended they move up into the adult section of the tournament. Zach was the first match called with a 40 year old Jiu-Jutsu expert; the match was nearing the four minute mark when Zach put his opponent in a leg lock that forced his opponent to tap. After a brief rest period Zach was called again to grapple a man in his early 20’s. Zach’s opponent put him in a head lock with his legs called (triangle) Zach was close to tapping, but fought hard to release his head and came back to submit his opponent with a shoulder lock called (Americana). Zach had to grapple a third match with well rested a Jiu-Jutsu expert that had received a bye. After a hard fought 3 minutes Zach’s opponent put him in an advanced technique call omoplata, a shoulder lock put on with your leg. Zach tried to get loose but was forced to tap. Zach earned a silver medal for his efforts fighting in the adult class at only 15 years old.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
How Would You Like it if Your Martial Arts School was Ranked #1 in Montana?
Dear Parents and Students,
How Would You Like it if Self Defense USA could offer unlimited new programs?
Imagine having a modern, up to date martial art facility with new modern equipment, numerous programs to pick from, that only members were able to go to and there was a waiting list a mile long. Imagine a plush waiting area for the parents with couches, soft chairs, and complimentary soft drinks and snacks. Imagine having locker rooms with showers for students to change.
These are only a few things that I think about all the time. These are things I want for all parents and students.
Tracey, my wife and I started our school for selfish reasons in the beginning, selfish meaning it was really for me. I needed to train with people that understood me and my style and there just wasn’t anything in Butte that I was happy with. So, she said why don’t we start our own school? We did, and it was great, but hard. I told Tracey that all I wanted was for the school to pay for its self and I would keep the doors open.
Well, that was 18 years ago. We have had some good times and some bad, but we always kept the doors open. We have had some serious thoughts in the past year and have decided that we would like to expand beyond our wildest dreams.
What are our Wildest Dreams?
Some of you may know that I am a FedEx courier in the day and a Martial Arts instructor by night (sorry silly humor). Anyway, I have worked for FedEx for 22 years and I am closing in on being able to retire.
You’re probably saying to yourself about now, so what, what does that have to do with me!
What it has to do with you as an individual will vary but as a school it will mean a lot.
Tracey and I would like to expand George & Tracey Orcutts’ Self Defense USA to a full-time Martial Art school.
Why? You say, well read on!
What does that mean a full-time Martial Arts school?
What it means is Tracey and I would dedicate our time and attention to making George & Tracey Orcutts Self Defense USA the absolute best martial arts school in Montana if not the Northwest. Offering a schedule that would fit everybody’s busy schedule, programs that would grab the interest of everyone.
You see, Martial Arts to our family is more than just me being a Karate instructor. It is a way of life.
I literally live, eat, and breathe martial arts and that flows over to everyone in my family whether they want it to or not.
Again, your asking, so what does that have to do with me?
Please, read on and I will explain
The martial arts are so important to me all I want to do is pass on what I love to as many people as I can, so they can benefit from the martial arts as I have. What are the benefits one can learn from the martial arts?
The benefits of martial arts training for children.
Martial arts training benefits children in many self ways, like self control, self confidence, self discipline, and self defense. It gives your child a chance to strengthen his body, mind and spirit.
Have you ever seen a bad kid? Have you ever seen a kid with low self-esteem? Have you ever seen a kid that’s been bullied and pushed around so much they think it’s normal for things to be that way and that it’s their fault? Let me tell you something when you teach kids you see it all the time.
There are times when you have to build up the inner person as well as the outer. When you have to teach the kid to handle the conflicts inside themselves, as well as he conflicts that they may face on the street. You must teach them respect for others, by first teaching them to respect themselves.
I could go on and on, but it would take a book to explain all we try to teach in a typical martial arts class.
Instead I will list a few benefits.
* self control * self discipline * self confidence
* patience * respect for others * respect for themselves
* self-esteem building * goal setting * goal achieving (belts)
* improve schoolwork * success building * teamwork
* responsibility * physical fitness * self defense
That’s what it has to do with all of our students and parents. Pretty cool huh!
Now! down to what I am writing this letter for.
I am asking for your help. I would like to be able to offer some brand new programs to Self Defense USA. The programs I would like to make available to you are things like
• After school programs
• Summer Camps
• International Black belt Club
• Masters Club
• College Scholarships ($1000)
These are just a few cool programs and opportunities that can be available. I am asking all parents and students to get the word out about Self Defense USA. That’s it in a nutshell.
Tell everyone you know about us and help us grow.
In order to provide a modern martial arts facility and new modern equipment we will need to have new students. Our goal is to have 250 to 300 students.
We provide several tools to help you get the word out, like gift certificates for a free month, just give them out and watch our school grow. I will even up the free month to 6 weeks if you will help pass them out. And, we will reward you $25.00 for every person you get to join.
That’s right $25.00 to you when you get someone to join the regular martial arts classes.
Why are we doing this? The answer is simple. I would like to dedicate the rest of my life to helping kids and adults grow to the best of their potential and my vehicle to accomplish this is the absolute best martial arts school in the Northwest.
Sincerely,
George and Tracey Orcutt
Dear Parents and Students,
How Would You Like it if Self Defense USA could offer unlimited new programs?
Imagine having a modern, up to date martial art facility with new modern equipment, numerous programs to pick from, that only members were able to go to and there was a waiting list a mile long. Imagine a plush waiting area for the parents with couches, soft chairs, and complimentary soft drinks and snacks. Imagine having locker rooms with showers for students to change.
These are only a few things that I think about all the time. These are things I want for all parents and students.
Tracey, my wife and I started our school for selfish reasons in the beginning, selfish meaning it was really for me. I needed to train with people that understood me and my style and there just wasn’t anything in Butte that I was happy with. So, she said why don’t we start our own school? We did, and it was great, but hard. I told Tracey that all I wanted was for the school to pay for its self and I would keep the doors open.
Well, that was 18 years ago. We have had some good times and some bad, but we always kept the doors open. We have had some serious thoughts in the past year and have decided that we would like to expand beyond our wildest dreams.
What are our Wildest Dreams?
Some of you may know that I am a FedEx courier in the day and a Martial Arts instructor by night (sorry silly humor). Anyway, I have worked for FedEx for 22 years and I am closing in on being able to retire.
You’re probably saying to yourself about now, so what, what does that have to do with me!
What it has to do with you as an individual will vary but as a school it will mean a lot.
Tracey and I would like to expand George & Tracey Orcutts’ Self Defense USA to a full-time Martial Art school.
Why? You say, well read on!
What does that mean a full-time Martial Arts school?
What it means is Tracey and I would dedicate our time and attention to making George & Tracey Orcutts Self Defense USA the absolute best martial arts school in Montana if not the Northwest. Offering a schedule that would fit everybody’s busy schedule, programs that would grab the interest of everyone.
You see, Martial Arts to our family is more than just me being a Karate instructor. It is a way of life.
I literally live, eat, and breathe martial arts and that flows over to everyone in my family whether they want it to or not.
Again, your asking, so what does that have to do with me?
Please, read on and I will explain
The martial arts are so important to me all I want to do is pass on what I love to as many people as I can, so they can benefit from the martial arts as I have. What are the benefits one can learn from the martial arts?
The benefits of martial arts training for children.
Martial arts training benefits children in many self ways, like self control, self confidence, self discipline, and self defense. It gives your child a chance to strengthen his body, mind and spirit.
Have you ever seen a bad kid? Have you ever seen a kid with low self-esteem? Have you ever seen a kid that’s been bullied and pushed around so much they think it’s normal for things to be that way and that it’s their fault? Let me tell you something when you teach kids you see it all the time.
There are times when you have to build up the inner person as well as the outer. When you have to teach the kid to handle the conflicts inside themselves, as well as he conflicts that they may face on the street. You must teach them respect for others, by first teaching them to respect themselves.
I could go on and on, but it would take a book to explain all we try to teach in a typical martial arts class.
Instead I will list a few benefits.
* self control * self discipline * self confidence
* patience * respect for others * respect for themselves
* self-esteem building * goal setting * goal achieving (belts)
* improve schoolwork * success building * teamwork
* responsibility * physical fitness * self defense
That’s what it has to do with all of our students and parents. Pretty cool huh!
Now! down to what I am writing this letter for.
I am asking for your help. I would like to be able to offer some brand new programs to Self Defense USA. The programs I would like to make available to you are things like
• After school programs
• Summer Camps
• International Black belt Club
• Masters Club
• College Scholarships ($1000)
These are just a few cool programs and opportunities that can be available. I am asking all parents and students to get the word out about Self Defense USA. That’s it in a nutshell.
Tell everyone you know about us and help us grow.
In order to provide a modern martial arts facility and new modern equipment we will need to have new students. Our goal is to have 250 to 300 students.
We provide several tools to help you get the word out, like gift certificates for a free month, just give them out and watch our school grow. I will even up the free month to 6 weeks if you will help pass them out. And, we will reward you $25.00 for every person you get to join.
That’s right $25.00 to you when you get someone to join the regular martial arts classes.
Why are we doing this? The answer is simple. I would like to dedicate the rest of my life to helping kids and adults grow to the best of their potential and my vehicle to accomplish this is the absolute best martial arts school in the Northwest.
Sincerely,
George and Tracey Orcutt
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